I wonder what
It’ll feel like when
I realize I’m falling
In love and it isn’t
The first time and
Probably won’t be
The last but I won’t
Be bothered with sifting
Through the malpractice
Of fairy tales because
Right now will be more
Writable than any once
Upon a time
I can’t wait to
Put that pen
To paper
rumouredtobeaserialnumber:
God, we always remember
what we most want to forget.
Here you’ll find no blissful ignorance,
only shadows of regret.
Invert
Do we forget
Who we are as
We become
Someone else
In time?
Is there a way
To keep hold
Of the people you’ve
Been without
Suffocating who
You are in this
Moment with the
Weight of it all?
Can memories be
More real than
I’ve let them now
For so long
Can I taste the salt
On Ocean Avenue
Like I could when I
Was their little girl
Can I spread my arms
And feel flight like
The dream I had in
Ninth grade and on
That big red horse
Who never really was
Anybody after all
Can I kiss you with
My eyes closed without
Dying a little inside
Once they open?
I don’t know I mean
It just seems to me
That knowing yourself
Would include knowing
Where you’ve been and
I am so exhausted with
These walls and pad locks
I just want to
Breathe easy
Whatever happened to Care Bears, though?
Friends Whose Names Are Drinks
Sometimes I wonder
If I’ll ever be wiser
Than I was when we
Were fucked up kids
Up too high and too
Late and far away
From the consequences
Of refusing to let go
This morning when you
Crossed my mind I got a
Little overwhelmed, see,
Because I’ve been dealing
With it from a distance
But eight o clock always
Finds me before I’ve had
My orange juice
And I thought of my
Best friend and I laughed
He wanted to hate you
He knew I was too caught
Up in whatever first loves
Do to us that make the good
Seem like it’s enough to
Cover the bad like it’s not
Even there and he was right
He makes fun of me
Because I write such
Long text messages
And I thought this morning
It’s a good thing he
Can’t read my mind
I’ve never seen so much
Fine print